May 25, 2021
MY "CEREBRO" THOUGHTS ARE FOGGY
When I was a kid, I liked to pretend that I was anyone but me. Full credit goes to movies. One week I was Batman, the next, a Jedi. When I played with my toys, I was really in my world. There's something about reality that I could never fully grasp. Unwanted reality is probably why my brain's default setting tends to be on "daydream mode." There was more going on in my imagination than my real and present life. That's still the case today.
Life without imagination was boring, and well, reflecting my early years, my childhood was colorless. I had no choice but to rely on my thoughts. My mind and films helped me get through a lot. Because I've always felt quite distanced from society, these mind games were all I had most of the time. But my mind is a kid who never grew up, leading my thoughts with the constant urge to create mayhem in my brain.
THE MIND is a powerful tool. These mind games have been getting trickier and arduous to handle. And lately, my mind has been overwhelmed. I don't remember the last time I had a good night's sleep. I'm not talking about the usual 6-8 hours. I'm talking about waking up so relaxed that I cannot wait to repeat the process once night hits. It's quite the opposite for me. I don't particularly appreciate when night approaches. Lately, at least. I need more time. And because I need more time to accomplish tasks and feel that I'm always rushing, I can't seem to turn my mind off.
The never-ending thoughts bring me to writing. One of the goals on my list is to become a better writer. There was a period when I used to write a lot. But then, of course, life has a way of distracting true passions at times. Perhaps writing will clear the fog in my mind. Maybe the voices will unite and make more sense in my head. I swear, my brain and thoughts mimic the relationship of Charles Xavier and his "Cerebro" device. The voices he hears are endless. Well, my thoughts are infinite and always running in too many directions. Capturing the right ideas and piecing them perfectly together would be a great feeling.
Another reason why I'm blogging: I NEED the practice.
A few months ago, someone brought to my attention that my writing was chaotic and desperate for polishing. Since I didn't have the daily discipline to journal my thoughts, I would free-write on random pages whenever I felt uninspired. But that was the problem. Writing my random thoughts and practicing when I was uninspired amounted to useless garbage pouring out of my mind. Blogging will probably construct me towards being more alert.
I will probably be blogging about my creative process and material I'm learning along this so-called "life journey." Maybe stories that I feel should be converted into words. We'll see. For now, I'm just putting this out there so that I feel inspired to keep on writing.
If you read this far, then I Thank You. Please share any comments you have. I welcome feedback and good chats. (Smiley Face Emoji Inserted Here).
I’ll be tuning in weekly. Your writing is chaotic, but in a good way :)